The Last Samurai of Blogging

This is it for the bloggity, blog blog blog. One month to go. Sadly this going to be my last blog unless I get some inspiration or something really exciting happens to me here. I have finals coming up and I actually have to start studying, which is going to be really difficult to do. I had a hard enough time writing this blog once a week with all the distractions in Tokyo. Time has flown in Japan. Highlights of this blog- a trip to a Japanese baseball game and my girlfriend's visit. I have been a bit lazy in the last couple of weeks with regard to the blog, so I apologize. Alot of friends have been in town and it was Spring Break. Also, it is a pain to upload pictures to this blog, it is really time-consuming and a bit cumbersome. Enough complaining, on to the blog.

This sign says it all, "dynamic and dramatic." This slogan was pasted everywhere within a mile from the stadium. I would not describe it that way, but hey, who am I to judge. We went to see the Tokyo Giants v. the Tokyo Swallows, I am not going to comment on the team mascot that would be too easy of a joke. The game was at the swallows stadium which was probably the size of a minor league park in the US, but it was fun nonetheless.

There was alot of differences between a Japanese baseball game and American baseball game. First, monkeys- each team has a monkey instead of a bat boy pick up the bat after the players hits. When the player, made a mistake the player had to bow to the crowd and then to his manger for forgiveness. They have a fifth base in between second and third base where if you get stuck on it you have to wrestle someone from the other team and whoever pins the other person dictates whether it is an out or he can move on to third. Next, It is also mandatory that they have a fat white American on a team with a mullet. Actually, the overweight American was the best player on the Tokyo Swallows and everytime he came up to bat, the Japanese fans would hold up this white face mask, kind of like the Michael Myers mask. It was pretty funny and yet disturbing. A Justin Timberlake song must be played every inning, no matter what the circumstance of the game or how inappropriate it may be. Instead of hotdogs and popcorn, they sell horse sashimi and beef with raw egg on top of it. Lastly, they pick one fan from the game who gets to determine who pitches and hits for the last out of the game. I learned alot- never get stuck in between 2 nd and 3rd base and horse sashimi is really tough to chew.

Also, the fans in between innings put up umbrellas even though it was not raining and they started jumping up and down and to some techno song, my friend Pawel would have loved it, he would have thought that he was in the "club."

I think I may have made up most of the stuff about the game except the Justin Timberlake songs, I really did not pay much attention to the game, it was kind of boring. But I did go home and download 3 Justin Timberlake songs without the slightest hestitation. I think I may have been brainwashed. Damn that Justin Timberlake, I think he may have used his charm on the Japanese as well because I am sure the rest of the crowd went home and did the same thing. Oh well, I only bought it on I-tunes and that is only pretend money, right?

My girlfriend, Krissy, came out to visit and it was a really nice week, she only wanted to kill me twice, a win in my book. Also, you will see the cherry blossoms were in bloom and we went to disneyland and disney sea, and a getaway trip to Hong Kong, oh wait, I forgot my reentry visa, so I never made it there, but did lose 600 dollars in the deal. It didn't dampen the week though. It was still a lot of fun.

I secretly want to become a star wars geek and dress up for the movies and stuff like that. It seems like a lot of fun. I started reading these star wars books one summer and got way too into it. I found myself thinking about the 'force' a little too much. Could Mace Windu take Boba Fett? could the forced be used to stop time?, the questions are endless. My social life and sanity are better off that I did not go down that route.

DisneyLand

The star wars ride ended up being really lame. The coolest thing about it is that R2D2 and C3PO were speaking Japanese the whole time. They put you into a seat and they just show small movie clip and I had to wait an hour for it. Little did I know that the wait was reasonable compared to some of the other rides. The lines at disney were horrendous. All of the good rides had lines over a two hour wait. They had this thing called "Fast Pass", but unfortunately you had to get there really early in the morning to use it. So we ended up for the day, going on like four rides that were all really boring. Although I did get a kick out of going on "It's a small world" -it is a ride where they have these little creepy figures singing with these chucky-like smiles "It's a small world after all" over and over and over. Once out of the ride, I proceeded to sing "it's a small word" probably for the next two hours. My girlfriend and everyone in the next line we were waiting in started getting annoyed. Sometimes just waiting in a line can make you crazy. I started singing it over and over. She started to get more and more annoyed, so eventually she used the ignoring technique. I quickly combated that by just singing closer and closer to her face until she acknowledged me by yelling at me like a little kid. Hey, sometimes it is fun to annoy people especially when there is nothing else to do while waiting in a line, so I can definitely sympathize with some of the students I teach.

The thing about Disneyland Japan is that it was probably the most clean and friendly place on the planet. I was at Disneyworld in Florida I can never remember it being anything like this. In every section of the park and every ride, the workers wore different uniforms which were immaculate and they were the friendliest group of people I had ever seen. They had a smile on their face the whole day, even the person whose job it was to pick up any litter around the park. (This was kind of jarring because I am used to the ride operators in the state who are missing a majority of their teeth and usually smell of a random combination of cheese and alcohol.) I find most Japanese to be really polite and super friendly like many Mormons oddly enough. From this fact, I think I found out their secret- Disneyland has successfully genetically engineered a super courteous Japanese- Mormon hybrid. These employees definitely had the combined politeness power of both the native Japanese and the members of the church of latter day saints and they combined to form super humans who always smile, are ultra courteous and are hell-bent on making you feel all warm and fuzzy when you visit Disneyland.

It was also unbelievably clean. The bathrooms were the most pristine bathrooms that I had ever seen. Maybe even nicer than the bathrooms at the Ventian or the ritz carlton or any high end place. I almost felt bad using them. It somehow reminded me that I usually play a "would you ever" game if I am walking with friends where we just think of something vile and just ask how much it would take for them to do it. It is all in good fun. For example, you can just see a piece of food on the ground and ask how much it would cost to eat it and the stakes can even get more disgusting and creative. Usually, the minimum price is always in thousands. I thought about how clean these bathrooms were and it would probably just take 10 dollars for me to eat something off the toilet seat. They were probably cleaner then some plates that I have used in my lifetime.

About 75 percent of Japanese (no matter what age) had some disney paraphernalia on and about 45 percent wore the mickey or minnie ears so I decided to join in the act. I bought a Lilo and Stich hat, it was a tough call because I also liked this alien head thing which was a bit more over the top. I tried getting krissy to buy these dumbo ears and wear them, but she chickened at the last minute, but I can't blame her she was not feeling that well that day.

DisneySea Japan

The Picture cannot accurately capture how cool DisneySea was. It was unbelievable. It was more adult than disneyland, they had better rides and each part of the park was a different land. It was kind of like Epcot center or Busch gardens. They had this big lake in the center and a huge volcano as well. Our goal: go on a ride where they at least have a height requirement or something that is at least a little bit exciting. We even found a way to circumvent somewhat the long lines by going as single riders. We went on the tower of terror, the new Indiana Jones ride, Journey to the center of the earth and 20,000 leagues under the sea. It was funny on 20,000 leagues under the sea, I decided to mess with Krissy a bit. When the ride starts, you go in this tunnel and the windows fill up with water to give the appearance that you are under water. So of course, I start pretending like it is really under water and start acting paranoid. What if the water started leaking in? . . . What if we run out of oxygen? what if the ride stops, I don't see any oxygen vents? . . . These doors don't look that sturdy. She just kept replying, "the test these rides, I am sure it will be fine." Then, I had to tell her that we weren't really under water. I try doing this alot. I used to get her and my dad before movies start, when they start playing the "don't use your cell phone" commercials. These commercials are set up to look like real movies, so I always try to trick people and say, "doesn't this movie look awesome, I can't wait to see it." There was even this American indian one and I would say, "ah, dances with wolves 2, I can't believe it." Then, i would get them to say that they wanted to see it and then the cell phone would go off in the fake-movie- commercial and I would get a good laugh at it.

For some reason, I feel like I should start rapping in front of this. Alot of rap videos always feature a rapper standing and rapping in front of a big globe like this. It would have made for a good video.

They also had a Pirates of the Caribbean ride and an Indiana Jones ride and the robots they had playing the Harrison Ford character and JohnnyDepp character were scary-life like. Most people just dismissed the "I-Robot" movie as pure entertainment. Maybe the writers knew something. If you have been to Japanese Disneyland, you just might think want to revisit that one.



It was funny no matter what land you went into in any of the disney parks. They would have stores, some would say like "Arabian trading goods" or "Ancient European treasures." I would get excited thinking there may be some interesting things to buy. However, it was the same exact disney stuff in every store. The Japanese bought it all, the stores were packed. It was amazing because the Japanese get so excited for Disney. I was telling people that I was going to Disney at this restaurant I frequent. The Japanese waitress seemed like she was going to hyperventilate when I told her I was going to disney, she started jumping up and down in place with her hand over her mouth and then proceeded to tell me all about it.

They were singing in Japanese. I also thought it would more interesting if Mickey and the rest of the disney characters would have had Japanese features. I definitely would have bought more souvenirs to fill up the bottom of my closet when I return home.

My favorite show growing up was "duck tales." I still have visions of swimming in a vault filled with gold coins.

(EMPTY)

Pictures of Hong Kong

Cherry blossoms- alot of people have Hanami parties to view them. It is really just an excuse for them to dayload. Nonetheless,they are really pretty. Alot of the following pictures will look like the front of a 4 dollar glossy greeting card with a poem in it and probably says in cursive in pink on the front "to my wife on her birthday." The Japanese get particularly riled up when you mention, "oh this is no big deal, we have these in Washington D.C." They will quickly remind you that they were gifts from Japan and can be taken back at anytime. It is their "national treasure," I told them sadly the ours is a very average movie starring Nicholas Cage.

The blossoms eventually worked their magic on me and even I started to fall in love with them too.

We took a walk through a park along the river filled with cherry blossoms. My girlfriend always wants more romance in her life. What can be more romantic than cherry blossoms, a guy who does not take anything seriously and intoxicated Japanese people.

I am selling this one to Hallmark

Forget about the cherry blossoms, this should be the national treasure. It is bushes shaped like a sea dragon. Now this is something to get excited about. I had visions of all of the pictures that I was going to take with this thing. I was going to pretend it was eating me, I was going to pretend I was in the Never Ending story and ride it. Unfortuntaley they protected this national treasure with a fence and they would not let me get closer. I am always in awe of anything carved out of bushes, ice or sand. Somehow it is much more impressive than if it is out of stone or wood. This summer I may learn how to ice sculpt, kind of like Bill Murray in groundhog day. What could be a cooler hobby than to tell people than ice sculpting. No one could ever claim that you are light in the chuck taylors for being an artist because you get the added bonus of using a chainsaw to create this art.



Another temple, actually, probably the same temple as in other pictures. I have been to it alot, but it is close to my house and a good place to take people sightseeing.


At least someone is happy in this picture that the week is over. Just kidding, It was a really fun week and I miss you Krissy and it was way too short.

One of the reasons that i love Japan is that it is completely random. This is a label from my Dr.Pepper bottle. I did not get this bottle from some store that does not have windows. I just bought it from a regular convenience store where anyone could by this. It seems that if you put something in Anime, anything goes. It is hard to see but this scandily-clad girl is packing like 6 guns. The Dr. Pepper bottle in the picture is actually filling up a gun which is then being shoved into her cleavage and the gun in her other hand seems to shooting Dr. Pepper out in a spiral. The banner above her hair says, "It's showtime." It is the most absurd thing that I have seen and it is definitely pushing the rating system for this blog.


Don't worry Emma. I I will be home soon. Daddy misses you.

I would to take time to thank anyone who has read this. Thanks and I miss everyone back home. Friends, family, students. All of my students, I will be back soon. I hope you all are being good and studying. I hopefully will have some cool stories and we will have a real fun end of the year.

Cliffhanger

For when I return, if anyone wants an interesting story just ask me about anyone of the following:

Why did one of my best friends extend his trip by a week, but i only got to see him for two days? Why did I earn two plaques on a wall at a famous place in Tokyo on my birthday but ended up spending part of the next day in an emergency room and why did my girlfirend almost cancel her trip to Japan two days before she was leaving? Oh, and how did I nearly cause a US ambassador to mishandle an international incident?

All of this is somewhat interrelated and makes for a good story. Thanks everyone for reading and I will see you soon.

30 years and Kyoto

I am a bit saddened over the death of my 20's. I am now thirty years old and I don't exactly know how to feel about it. How time flies, I still remember my dad's thirty birthday and the theme of the party was "over the hill" and now I am thirty. Anyway depressing as it is, the blog must go on. Two good friends of mine Tom and Brian came out for the week and we saw a bunch of sites and made a trip to Kyoto. It was really fun and exciting. Kyoto is a unique place with alot of traditional temples. To any student readers, thanks for the support and the winner of the Gasshr will be announced as soon as I get back. I have no clue on how to use the video camera function, so I don't know if that is a possibility. I have a hard enough time uploading these pictures. I also just bought some postcards and I will be making use of them shortly. Here are some highlights of the week.

Here is the dreaded traditional Japanese toilet. I have neither the aim or the stamina to use this contraption that is level with the floor.

Ads on stairways and sometimes on escalator. It is cool looking and effective. I think I may go see "jumper" after this ad.

The ice bar in Tokyo, the whole bar is made out of ice. You are only allowed to be in here for 45 minutes. It was freezing and they gave us space age suits.

I saw the "christmas story" one too many times and wanted to see if your tongue really sticks to the ice. The movie was right.

We decided to go to an Onsen, which is a Japanese hotsprings. It was really relaxing. We even got massages and just relaxed in the hot springs after a long week of siteseeing. Downside: you have to be naked and the place is divides men and women. Therefore, I saw more naked men then I felt comfortable seeing, it was border line disturbing. Why not some bathing suits, it is about time to change this ancient tradition. Also, they had this game there where I got to throw real ninja stars- It was crazy. I hit the target twice in 5 throws and won a plastic ninja star. It was odd how they let you use these dangerous weapons at a game, but it was fun nonetheless. We rented bikes in Kyoto and saw all the sites by bike. I think we biked over 12 miles throughout the day because the sites are so spread out. Somehow we never got lost and each bike had a basket and a bell. I rang the bell every thirty seconds as if I was Mr. Softee going through the streets of Kyoto, it was lot of fun. It was a great deal only 10 dollars for the day and I couldn't imagine going any other way.

Here is a small mountain town in Kyoto. It was the first time I was able to breath fresh air since I have been in Japan since Japan's air quality is a bit poor. My sinuses cleared up and makes me want to move to the mountains someday.

Memoirs of a geisha-- the one next to me looks smitten over me- who can blame her. I think Kyoto is the last place in Japan where they have geishas and you see many walking around the city. We decided to wear our complimentary hotel robes around the city. People were dying laughing because they said "Kyoto Inn" on them. People would stop and point and laugh continually. I think they thought it was so funny because it was be like someone walking around in a Motel 6 robe in the US and they probably thought that we thought they were traditional robes. I even saw someone use the move that I used before where they pretended to be taking a picture of something else and when we looked they quickly put down their camera. I have been the source of a lot of comedy in Japan, why stop now.

The golden pavillion- here they had this little bowl where people we're trying to throw money into it and it was difficult. I made it on my second try and yelled out "Yata", which means "I did it" and the Japanese really got a kick out of it.

Beware of falling rocks

The orange temple (I don't know its real name)

Bowing to a tree and praying for peace on earth and that we did not get hit by cars as we biked throughout Kyoto. There are alot of small streets where cars fly around corners, probably as dangerous as the Ninja star game.

Double dragons on the ceiling of the oldest Zen temple in Japan, called Kenjii temple.

Again , Japan is not made for tall people. I was as tall as the roof.

A rock garden. The Japanese have the right idea- easy to manage and serene looking. I may start one when I get home

Krissy, put on your eye muffs- I could not resist the power of the geisha

This restaurant was like a dungeon. We did not know what it was when we entered- I knew that it would be really good food or we would be tortured, I was hoping for the first option. This really small door led down many stairs to a really cool traditional Japanese restaurant with excellent cuisine.
People are always dressed up in customs. These penguin guys weren't as excited about the picture as I was.





There was a monkey park in Kyoto where they let you play with the monkeys. I was really excited about this one and we biked for like 40 minutes to get there and unfortunately it was too late and it was closed. I might have to take another trip just for this reason. I have no clue why they don't have this in the US (besides the threat of disease), it seems awesome.

When in Japan a lot of people where these masks. I first thought that all of these people were going into surgery or robbing banks. But here, it is neither, they are just afraid of germs.

Dogs in sunglasses and jeans- only in Tokyo.

What's wrong with this guy?

A. Dead
B. Drunk
C. Protesting something

D. who knows, he's french.

Answer D: This french guy was laying on the street. You never know with the French. They worship marginal US celebrities (like Mickey Rourke and Jerry lewis), make movies where you have to guess the plot and it is mandatory to appoint mimes to a certain number of gov't positions, so it could be anything. Just kidding, this guy passed out drunk. A warning to all of you students reading, don't drink or you could end up like this French guy. His friends started yelling at me for taking his picture, but I tried to tell them how else is he going to learn not to drink that much. I told him how in the states you could get much worse- your eyebrows could be shaved off, you could be put in an uncompromising position or worse. He did not really want to hear it so he called me a bad name and I just called him the only french insult that I knew, "laisse incompentante." I only knew this word from the "Home Alone" movie when the cousin calls McCauley Caulkin it. McCauley is haunted by it for the rest of the movie- hopefully it was just as cutting. This group of French people were not really that friendly and completely out of control.

Hopefully, I will stop being lazy and post some more. I am off to forget the fact that I turned 30.