Reader Mailbag

In honor of the sport's guy (a columnist on espn.com whose best articles are his mailbags), I have devoted this week's blog to my reader's mailbag. We had only one question though, but don't worry I can make the rest of them up. On to the questions:



Hi Mr. McCann, very interesting pictures. Congratulations on finding your sidekicks, how exactly do they help you? - Casey, Princeton NJ



Good question Casey, first some more background about sidekicks. The traditional sidekicks have been people like robin of Batman, Tonto in the Lone Ranger and people like that. If you think of your life as a movie, they are the supporting character that help move the plot along and help the protagonist along the way. They are traditionally are much shorter than the main character (Pawel and Rodrigo fit that bill), but if you find one that is taller, they would then have to be less intelligent than you are (like pinky from Pinky and the Brain or Lenny from Of Mice and Men) Sidekicks are especially valuable being an outsider in a foriegn country. Most people associate sidekicks with fighting crime, but since there is no crime in Japan, I pretty much had to improvise. There really are no set rules for being a sidekick, they could fulfill a variety of roles. They could be thought of as your own personal assistant or maybe even secretary. Pawel takes notes on all of the readings in the classes and passes them along to me. When I didn't have a cell phone in Japan, I just gave people Pawel and Rodrigo's number and had them take down messages for me. They also seem to come up with pretty cool things to do most weekends. They also bring cookies to school everyday which is good for me because Japanese food does not fill me up. I guess they could up as friends with more secretarial and administrative duties. People have gotten tired of saying their names Pawel and Rodrigo, so they have also been blended into a superhuman known as "Padrigo." It makes sense because they share a cell phone, never are seen apart and share a bedroom (which is pretty much illegal for any heterosexual male over the age of 24)



A bit more on them:



Pawel: You can pretty much get the guy do anything you want if you just tell him he is making a bad name for poland. With the crew of friends that i hang out with here in Japan, everyone has been borderline hazing him by just saying "you are letting poland down" and stuff like that
and he is automatically in for anything, it is pretty entertaining.



Another funny story about him. When I first received my cell phone in Japan, I was hanging out in his house with a bunch of other people. I kept texting him pretending that I was some girl in the program. He did not know my cell phone number and he believed it was her. He kept saying "how did she get my number, this is crazy" and texting her back. After a while I was texting him right across the table from him and laughing hysterically as he read the new texts and it took him literally a half hour and 7 aggressive text messages to figure out it was me. It was one of the funnier things I ever experienced.



Don't feel bad for Pawel, he is just as good at having fun at my expense at I have at his. He will not let me live down the fact that I got on stage at this entertainment law party and sung Paris Hilton's "The Stars are Blind" (a much underrated pop song in my opinion.) Since I mentioned it, I think this story needs some explaining . . . maybe alot of explaining . . . maybe no explaining will make sense of this story) The entertainment law professor threw a party for his friends and students one night at some restaurant. Anyway, they had a DJ and on this small stage. The professor who is a real fun guy, started making people sing songs - kind of like Karaoke with no words. Anyway, he handed the mic to these girls and they did not know the words to the paris hilton song when I was next to this stage. So I remark, how could you not know the words to this song. Anyway, somehow the mic gets passed to me and looked around and just went with it. The crowd loved my rendition, but it definitely left me open to riducule from some of my friends here but I have gained a new found respect I think from many people in my law school. That song is a definitely a guilty pleasure, one that you usually would want to hide the fact that you have it I-poded, especially if you are a man. When it usually comes on my ipod, I will even take off my one head phone, just to make sure it cannot be possibly heard by the outside world because it is that embarassing of a song to have on your i-pod. However, I look at the situation like I was saving some fellow classmates from embarrassment over being on stage and not knowing the words. It was just doing a good deed, kind of like when maurice cheeks saved the little girl who forgot the words when singing the national anthem, just instead of the national anthem, it was the paris hilton song.



Quick note on Rodrigo: I figured out that is name translates in english to "Rod Fields" and have been calling him that. Since, he does this really funny impression when introduces himself to people, he will say "Hi, I am Rod Fields and I am from texas" in this absurb impersonation of an American gringo.

If you don't post a blog, how will I know that you are alive? -Mom- Philadelphia, Pa

Sorry about that mom, the weekly blog not only gives me a chance to share my insight into Japan- it also lets people who care know that I am still alive. Well, I was sick again last week. I have been fulfilling my lifelong dream of getting 10 hours a sleep a night. Also, I just started tutoring a Japanese girl English, so I am back in the teaching game.

I rather enjoy cyber-bullying. Can I use the comment feature of your blog to cyber-bully other students? - PJ, Princeton, NJ



I don't advocate the bullying of any other students and this behavior can not be tolerated on such an esteemed website. You may have heard the old saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Not true, I saw some "Dateline" special on cyberbullying before I left that totally dispelled this myth. You can not just make fun of people with just ill intentions. You have to have a larger point, maybe satirizing them. Even if you do, here are the rules that society deems you follow- you have to be part of that group, or you have to preface it by making fun of yourself, or write a legal disclaimer. Unless you are making fun of George Bush, I think nothing is off limits. (political note: Even though W has been the most riduculed president in history with one of the lowest approval rating and I certainly don't think that he has done a good job, I think that there are some things that people overlook about his presidency and even some redeemable aspects of it. essentially, I don't think he was the worst in history)





Have you seen any good Japanese Street fights since you have been in Japan? - Bob, Kansas City



Actually no. Now I don't condone violence or any type of fighting and certainly don't go looking to see people fighting. Somehow it seems that if you stay out late enough or get up early enough in the morning and find yourself walking around in Shibuya or Roppongi, you may get tricked into thinking that you are going to witness a real Japanese street fight. This same turn of events played out twice since I have been here. I grew up playing street fighter and mortal combat and also enjoy kungfu movies, so my imagination ran wild when I started to see some things escalate between these two native Japanese for the first time. I automatically envisioned how it was going to take place as the two started yelling at one another. (the japanese also try to yell in a really forced deep voice, so it is really unintentionally funny almost like they are doing an impression- it is almost indescribable)Anyway, I imagined the one guy is definitely running up the side of the wall, do a backflip and then attempt to kick the other guy in the back of the head. The other guy would counter this by just start flying at him with his fist forward-- I saw this all in crouching tiger, hidden dragon. I thought I was in store for some real ninja type action. However, the two just started to push one another over and over and nothing really happend, I stayed for like 5 minutes and then walked away.



The second time I saw this happen, it was even more unintentionally funny. Me and some friends were walking home one night and these two guys were arguing, the one guy was out of his car and his car was kind of blocking traffic so it became a big scence. As I have mentioned before, it is very fashionable for young Japanese males to blow dry thier hair, wear make up and even feminine clothing. So from outward appearances it was not the most masculine matchups, although I should no longer comment on masculinity since I enjoy Paris Hilton's music. We stopped to see what was happening because a crowd was gathering around the two people. There was just constant pushing, so we decide to get some kabobs and walk by later on our way home. After kabobs (an unbelievable late night snack), we walked by the scene again and these US marines had gathered to watch, one called out "why don't you guys just kiss" and they started to sacastically cheer and high five one another as the two continued to push one another. It was really ignorant, but also really funny. Anyway, some guys just comes up and says "don't fight." both guys just speed off and went away without any hesitation. I think they did not want to fight, but neither wanted to leave because they did not want to lose face in front of everyone. In japan saving face is important. They have this concept called the Honne and Tatamae-- which really deals with what is on the surface and what is the real meaning below the surface. This concept is very prevalent in Japan. The Japanese will often times just do things for show and have this different meaning below the surface to their actions. Outward appearance is very important to the Japanese. I may have to devout a whole section of the blog to this, if I can think of an entertaining way to talk about it. It is interesting and complex topic that we learned about in class and you see it in action all the time in Japan.



You haven't talked about toilets in a couple weeks, I think I need an update on Japanese toilets? Phyllis- Savannah, Georgia



Here, Japanese toilets weren't always this luxurious. I am now in the golden ages of toilets in Japan. Just a short time ago, I found out it was the dark ages. This may have been one of the most remarkable transformations. They essentially went from inventing the wheel to driving a rolls royce overnight. As I mentioned before the Japanese have the most luxurious toilets. They have figured out a way to heat toilets and they have not even figured out how to keep warm the rest of building. Insulation has not been invented in Japan, it is almost the same temperature indoors as it is outside. Back to the toilets. When I first encountered the traditional Japanese toilet, I did not even know it was one. They have them at the gym that I go to. I went into the stall and then came out and asked a friend because I just saw a porcelin hole in the ground and I thought that it was another urinal. I asked a friend, "where the toilet, I have to go numero dos" well, I was told about the "traditional Japanese toilet" aka a hole in the floor. Needless to say, I did not use it, since I am so tall I had no confidence in my aim and I don't know if I could have the stanima to squat that long. I will have to take a picture and post it.

Can I get a mention sometime in your blog because it was just Valentine's Day? Krissy, Philadelphia, PA

Sure, of course I miss and love you and wished you were here on V-day. I know you were surprised that I sent you something two days in a row on Valentine's Day and the day after to your apartment. I forgot to mention that the bigger set of flowers and candy was for emma, my soulmate- the card must have slipped out and I did not have the heart to tell you;)
Anyway, Valentine's Day in Japan is interesting because only the girls are allowed to give guys candy and presents on this day. They are supposed to give candy to anyone who they know or are close to. If they really like a guy, then they have to give them homemade chocolate. Of course, I had to keep refusing bundles of homemade chocolate.
A month later they have a holiday called "white day". This is where the guys give presents to girls. I advocate for the United States adopting Japanese style Valentine's Day without a White day.

How is the new apartment? Ken- Dover, Delaware

Well, I actually moved back into my old place in Azudadai. They new place was too far away from school and it was too nice. I much prefer the "roughing it" of my old place. I get to walk to school and there is absolutely nothing to do in the place. So I am forced to study for the law school classes or practice Japanese when I am at my apartment. Also, I realized that you can get out of anything in Japan by saying you are sorry. My professor told me a story that if you get a parking ticket, you can just go to the police station and write an apology and you can get out of paying it. The new apartment building that I moved temporarily said that I owed them 700 dollars because I did not give them a full thirty days notice. Well, I just kept apologizing and said that I was not going to pay. They sent all of the emails telling me I owed 700 hundred. I just kept replying by apologizing and then the number became 350. I apologized some more and just dropped the key off in their mailbox with a note apologizing and haven't heard from them since.


Have you had a chance to play any basketball in Japan? Todd, Dayton , Ohio
Yes, I have played with the locals and it was playing basketball with some average middle school kids in the United States. They even make you do drills for one hour before you play pick up games. You have to do the three man weave, dribbling drills and layup drills. It was painful and there was this old guy who was yelling at you in Japanese while you were warming up, I think the gym pays him to coach. I felt like Shaq two years ago if he was able to go back and play against high school competition. I think that a good 5 and 6 grade team could have taken this group of guys. However, I just started playing with some guys from law school and it is fun and fairly competitve.

What do you do if you accidentally eat raw chicken? Should I take a vitamin? Claire- Knoxville, Tenn.
Karma is a funny thing. I saw this question posted on some webMD site. The doctors response was amazing. It was really sarcastic and started by saying, "how does one accidentally eat raw chicken and what do you think a vitamin will do" Well, I accidentally ate raw chicken and did not know what to. I told the story recently on this blog how some girl thought that raw pork was sashimi and I laughed for like a half hour straight over it even though she became violently sick. Well, some chinese restaurant did not cook chicken in this dish that I was eating. It was really chewy and I thought originally maybe it was just a fatty piece of chicken. After two pieces I opened up one of the pieces that I was eating and it was pink and uncooked inside. I rushed to the internet and looked up what to do and could not find anything. So, I took a vitamin, because it was just crazy enough that it might work. Somehow I was allright but karma definitely came back to bite me.

If Japan is the world's leading superpower in comfort while sitting on a toilet and the United states makes the most comfortable toilet paper in world, when will east meet west and these superpowers merge and there be comfortable toilets and toilet paper in the same country? Tom- from Dallas, Texas

Well, this is where I come in. I am secretly finding out these technology trade secrets about toilets, quitting teaching and law school and starting my own company when I get back to the United States

Yup, these are my readers.

There is no "I" in Japan

It was a very fortuitous turn of events that brought me to Japan. I was able to get a leave from my work, save enough money, and even make a decision to leave the Philadelphia/ New Jersey area to mix up my life a bit. As fate brought me to this crowded metropolis, I realized was my purpose here just to hit my head twice a day on low hanging doorways, visit every American chain restaurant in the city of Tokyo and run up a world record itunes bill while in Japan? (I just found out that you can rent movies and tv shows from itunes and it a dangerous thing.) So I figured maybe there is something greater purpose in store for me while I am in Japan. Well, I think that there definitely is. The Japanese people have lost their way and there is a tall, lanky gaijin (foriegner) is here to fix things.

As the Japanese society has slowly moved away local villages and have flocked to the bustling metropolis of Tokyo, the people of Japan have somehow lost their way. Somehow they are slowly losing the respect that has made this country great. There is no "I" in Japan and the people of Japan have seemed to forget this fact. The Japanese bow is officially gone. It has turned into some abominable mix of a head nod and a shoulder shrug. Maybe they are unsure of something , maybe they are trying to give an affirmation or maybe they are being respectful, I sure can't tell. Whatever happened to the 90 degree bend, maybe even some hands folded as one bows. I read somewhere that the bow is supposed to be like a sunflower bending to the sun, but i haven't seen any flowers or light.

I have undertaken a new mission while I am here- to bring back the full scale bow. I have not gone about something with such purpose since I lasted about three days on my lenten promise to give up soda. (I think I needed something more difficult, so I have given up Outback steakhouse which I already managed to eat there three times.) However, for the last two days, I have been bowing perfectly to each and every Japanese who serves me in a restaurant or helps me out in anyway. The first time I was at a local Japanese restaurant, I bowed politely, arms folded, forming a right angel- the perfect post-sushi dinner response. Then, there was a flicker in the eyes of the wait staff, harkening back sometime long past and it seemed like a tear was starting to form on the inner corner of one of the servers' eyes. The eyes seemed to cry out "where did we go wrong . . thank you." . . . Even if I turn into Quazimoto in the process, I will bring Japan back. Yes Japan, you are welcome.

Classes: (will have a blog on this sometime)

Sightseeing: I have suspened my sightseeing for a couple weeks because I have a lot of people coming out in the month of March, so Idefinitely do not want to see things twice.

Moving apartments: I moved out and changed my apartment this week. One of my friends sadly had to drop out for the semester because of personal reasons so I have taken over her apartment. I have moved from Azubadai to Gotonda. It is a little further away from school and a bit smaller, but it is an upgrade - it has American TV stations sort of, a washer and the internet. They have a couple american movie channels, cnn, and fox japan. It is odd- the shows are a bit different. I swear they changed the ending to close encounters of the third kind- the aliens came out and killed the humans at the end. They even somehow decided to bring over the worst show I have ever seen, Dharma and Greg, and dub it into Japanese, however, the dubbing into Japanese may be an improvement.

Nationalist- I think I may want to join the nationalist movement- They are really conservative group and want to expel all foriegners in Japan- who needs the foriegners. I kind of only want to be the only foriegner here. I thought the Japanese would be amazed to see a white person and completely amazed, but Tokyo is a very international city and they may be right- there are too many of us here. They protest every week outside of the Korean, chinese and russian embassies. I unfortunately had the displeasure to live next to the russian embassy and they would drive by one morning a week in black vans with black tinted windows with the Japanese flag on the sides of the vehicle and blare nationalist propaganda waking me up. Swarms of swat team police would form with barricade in case they ever did anything. The nationalist were like the Japanese A team-- instead of only dangerous missions to save people's lives, they drove around like Mr. Softee blaring music no one wanted to hear. Sign me up.

The Japanese: the Japanese seemed to know only two places in America: NY or California. When anyone Japanese asks me where I am from, I would say that I am from Philadelphia. Then I would get a quizzical look as if they were Tom Brady in this year's super bowl. Finally, I realized that the majority of Japanese only heard of NY or Ca, so I would say California because I would never want to associate myself with NY after they just were given a gift wrapped superbowl by the patriots, why couldn't the patriots have given the eagles the super bowl so many years ago. Philadelphia unfortunately has a black cloud over it.

A nooo: the Japanese use this all the time when they are unsure of something, it is kind of like um-- It was like the first thing my langugage teacher taught us. The Japanese throw it into conversation all the time and you can pretty much add as many o's as you want on the end of no. I held the no for about 2 minutes in class sometimes. It is alot of fun.

What happens in Japan stays in Japan. This is a picture that Rodrigo and Pawel had in their apartment, I took a picture of it becuase it is the funniest picture I have ever seen. There are so many nuances that it is almost undescribable. It is now the wallpaper of my computer. Also, I have seen the movie Eastern Promises so I know how it is in Poland. I am not above blackmail. I told Pawel if he ever makes it famous in Poland-- no offense this picture is going to the highest bidder- so it is the rule of eastern europe.

Well, it is off to Watch Groundhog day in Japanese and save Japan one bow at a time.

Two for one special

Note just finished watching the super bowl. Since we are 14 hours ahead, I don't want to ruin for anyone, but the Giants won. It was an exciting game and I never like rooting for the giants or any division rival but I started to pull for them because the patriots and belicheck are so arrogant. I am kind of glad they lost. Also, the one catch by David Tyree was truly outstanding.

I have been following the presidential races- my thoughts
- I am really pulling for Obama. I don't agree with all of his viewpoints, but I think that he is the fresh face America needs. I think the comparisons to JFk are on point. He has that "it" factor about him. He is extremely charismatic and he makes you want to believe. He exudes a certain honesty and integrity that this country needs. Unfortunately, looking at the polls, I don't know if he will be able to beat out Hillary Clinton. She is up in many key states, especially NY and Ca. I have been seeing more of Bill Clinton than her-- which lately seems to be a smart strategy. However, I don't think she will ever be able to win the general election because 40 percent of people absolutely despise her. It looks like McCain has it locked up on the other. He is a solid candidate who works well with both parties and is moderate on a lot of issues, but he maybe too old. I will probably would vote him over Clinton, but Obama over McCain if it came down to it. A lot could change from now and then, but that is my take on things so far.



The winners of my search for a Japanese sidekick are: Pawel and Rodrigo. As you can tell they are not Japanese, but it is ok because at least they are foriegn.I can't be hanging out with Americans while I am here, besides, two foriegn sidekicks equal one Japanese sidekick. Pawel is from Poland and Rodrigo is from Mexico. Both are really good guys and a lot of fun to hang out with. One of the criteria of the search was that they knew Japan. They certainly know Japan better than me because they are experienced travelers and they arrived about two weeks before I came here. The bar was pretty low on that one because I still get lost sometimes walking to school. I keep trying for a shortcut and always end up somewhere new and then I look baffling at my map wondering how I got where I am. Next, they speak english well, but not too well-- so there is that unspoken bond developing. Lastly, they do not know any martial arts, however they both play soccer and there is a lot of kicking in the game-- so if they ever wanted to they could easily learn. Here they are:A little information about them individually, although you could consider them one person because they share an apartment, a cellphone and have similar personalities. They also both continually laughed at any jokes that I make during Japanese language class. Some jokes were intentional and some were just unintentionally funny because I butcher the langugage just as I do with the English language from time to time.

Pawel: He is from Poland. In many ways, he is a textbook Euro- he listens only to techno music, he wears tight jeans and won't pay less than 50 dollars for a haircut. (he literally would not go to the 10 haricut place next to school because it costs only ten dollars) I am sure he wears speedos at the beach and drive a small sportscar with a personalized license plate as well. However, he is a lot of fun and he is the extrovert of the two. It was funny, he once mentioned the word "club" about twenty times in a two minute period. He kept saying that some girl he knew did not like clubs. So he went on a diatribe about clubs. How could you not like clubs . . clubs are the most fun . . . bar or restuarant is ok, but club is better and then he started to do the hand balance and he held one hand up high and said "club is up here and anything else to do at night is down here." It was really funny and after I while I thought it would be fun to see how many times I could get him to say the word "club" and kept breaking in and saying "you're talking about a club right" and he would say, "of course I talking about clubs" -- I think he made it over 20.

Rodrigo: he is much more calm and collected. He is from Mexico and he is a good guy to hang around with because he is laidback and really is always up for doing anything. He also has taught me a lot about Mexico and I sometimes try brushing up my spanish by speaking in spanish to him. He also still finds a story I had from Spain really funny. I used to have this spanish rap Cd and on an interlude to one of the songs, the rapper said when he was talking to a girl "que pasa mami" so of course I figured this is how you must formally address a lady in spanish and so I was asking him if he used that greeting and now he says it all the time as a joke-- it is pretty funny.

This neighborhood is Roppongi Hills. It has a lot of nice stores and shops. I saw a movie by myself, which in the United States I would never do. I always in my head think that people seeing movies by themselves are a bit odd- which I don't know why and this may be an unfair stigmatism. Even if I see someone I know and the person I am with is at the bathroom or buying candy, I may even proactively throw out when I see them-- i wish they hurry up in the bathroom. It is amazing when you are in a foriegn country that becomes ok at least in my own world. It is also ok to introduce yourself to complete strangers, to go to the movies by yourself or to eat at a restuarant by yourself, whereas back in the states I would feel uncomfortable. Here the movie theater was really nice - expensive though - it cost 18 dollars. I even got to reserve my own seat. The only odd thing about it was that they have a list of 20 things that you could not do in the theater and it is all expounded by some unusual superhero character. Japan is a very rule based society. They have rules for everything and no one in the theater broke any of them.

I saw American Gangster-- the story was compelling and involving. Russel Crowe and Denzel Washington are good in everything -- highly recommend

Since I saw a lot of movies over the break, here is a short review for anyone who cares:

Juno-- it was like dawson's creek meets rushmore. teenagers in the film had over inflated vocabulary and the film felt a bit too contrived. Although the film had its moments, I could not get past that the lead character's role was written for Jenenne Garrofolo-- she made really obscure pop culture references, always had a smarmy comeback and even looked like her.

I Am Legend- really enjoyed this film and its premise, even with the chessy ending. I never thought of Will smith as a great actor, but it was his best work since the Fresh Prince and the film more than kept my attention throughout

Gone Baby Gone- I could not believe this was directed by Ben Affleck- it was really good. I still can't believe he wrote Good Will Hunting too.

No Country for Old Men-- the bad guy with the bad hair cut was terrifying in this movie-- however, i need a conclusion at the end of a movie-- the movie just ended. I don't believe it is ever poetic-- there needs to be a resolution of the story-- I get so frustrated by films like that.

310 to Yuma-- None stop action, fast paced, and the albino bad guy in the film was just as terrifying as the guy with bob haircut in No country for old men

Mr Bean's Holiday-- I saw this one on the plane-- I never understood Mr. Bean and the movie was really difficult to get through and the ending was absolutely absurd.

I don't know who or what this is-- but it was outside of a Japanse temple.

This boat was unbelievable. It hovered on the water and then it submerged itself and we were able to see the marine life and it traveled at a top speed of 200 miles per hour. Actually, it did none of these things. They were all the things that i expected by the look of it. The boat went not much faster than if human were paddling and it took about 40 minutes to go a mile. I was really excited to get on it, however, looks can be deceiving

This is my foriegn language teacher, Izusu. She took our class to the fish market. I also had to bend down to ensure I would fit into the picture- she is short.

It was a shame alot of the fish were packed into these crates and many of the fish could barely turn around. I took an animal rights law class at Temple last semester. My teacher was a card carrying member of Peta. She was a vegan who always brought in vegan food to class and she even took us to a really nice vegan restaurant once. She was definitely trying to convert us. I somehow managed an A+ in the class- so I may be forced to become an animal rights advocate because I don't think that I will repeat that again in my law school career. It was interesting that I got that grade because most of my arguments in class were also prefaced with "I am not trying to be ingnorant" and ended with "we are talking about just animals" - I once brought meatloaf from boston market into class because I did not have time to eat dinner and I recieved the look of death. She would have been hysterical over the conditions here.

We watched this guy go to work on this tuna head. He kept spraying blood and water while we has cutting. It was really disgusting as you can see, but it also looked really fake. Our teacher told us that she loves fish eyes and that they are really good for your hair and skin. She eats them all the time. We went for sushi right after this for lunch. I still don't know how I stomached that one.

Last thing on food --there is nothing off limits on which you could find either of these four things in any meal you order in Japan: runny eggs, tofu, corn and cornflakes. Just when you least expect it-- you could bite into anything and find one of these four things or they could be served on top of any dish. I had pizza and pasta before here with corn and egg sitting on top. I had an ice cream sundae mounted with both tofu and cornflakes. It really takes some getting used to.

I am really starting to get a bit homesick. I hope everyone is going well to all back home. Even though Japan has been exicting, I am in countdown mode and I can get back to the states.